


Us Until the World Ends

by anyothergirl415



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 04:58:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyothergirl415/pseuds/anyothergirl415
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hit Jensen then, how strange this entire thing was. They were in the middle of the street, in the middle of a town that was probably full of zombies that were hurrying as quick as their dead legs could carry them toward the scent of blood trickling down Jared's leg. And here the boy was, grinning and bouncing like they were about to head into fucking Disney World.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Us Until the World Ends

Sometimes, without even meaning to, Jensen found himself humming or whistling or singing the words to songs he hadn't heard in months. It was like a subconscious tic, like his brain could only handle so much silence - or echoing screams, echoing gunshots, echoing anguish. He'd be creeping slowly through a long-abandoned traffic jam and pause halfway through _Stairway to Heaven_ to consider how stupid he was being. Anyone could hear him. And what would he do then?

But no matter how many times he caught himself - always with the silent rant and rave over the risks - it never failed to happen again. It was damn dangerous and Jensen _knew_ that. 

And still. Here he was.

"Oh, Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law." The song fell from Jensen's lips against his control - at least he had pretty good taste in music - as he roamed along the grocery store aisle. His ears were straining beyond the noises he was making, always alert - in was one of the better qualities he'd fine-tuned over the last few months.

Just when he realized he was singing aloud again and it wasn't the internal soundtrack he'd been intending, his head was jerking up and his hand was lifting. The gun in his grasp was cool and reassuring, the most grounding thing he had in this world that had all gone to hell. 

Jensen sucked in slow deep breaths and narrowed his eyes, crouching down so his head wouldn't be obvious over the top of the low shelving. He peered through the shelves and his heart rate picked up speed, thudding too loud in his ears. They could hear it, they always could. Brainless, emotionless, the fucking dead come back to life and still they could pick out food from miles away.

He thought that made them animals. Which made it just a little easier to shoot when it came down to it. But then, he'd changed in a lot of ways since the world ended.

Jensen sucked in a deep breath as his finger tightened on the trigger and the form shuffled closer. It was still picking up his scent, or his heartbeat, or whatever it was that caused them to flock to the nearest living thing.

Sucking in a few quick breaths Jensen slowly backed up, glancing over his shoulder at the door he'd crept through a few minutes before. He'd really thought this store was empty and it sucked that it wasn't: Jensen was running low on supplies. 

Before he had a chance to slip outside something loud clattered across the store and his eyes widened with the echo of a low curse. He was pretty sure the dead ones didn't talk. The creature spun toward the noise, growling loudly and quickening its pace. Jensen was in the clear; he could make a break for it and be gone long before others showed up - because others _always_ showed up - and that was what he should do.

But, like the songs he couldn't ever get himself to stop humming or whistling or singing, Jensen couldn't just leave.

"God damnit," he muttered under his breath and ducked down, hurrying quickly across the store. The clattering of whatever - cans from the shelves, probably - grew louder as the person obviously realized the dead ones were coming and he - or she, which was just as likely - was screwed. "Come on!"

"Oh shit. Oh fuck." The boy - because it was just a boy, Jensen realized a moment later as he rounded the last aisle - skidded quickly back, sliding over the cans. 

"What the hell are you doing? Get up and run!" Jensen hurried forward and stooped down, snagging the boy's sleeve and dragging him roughly up to his feet. The last thing Jensen really needed was someone who couldn't even handle not freaking out when face to face with real life goddamn zombies and he considered just making a break for it - sure he could ignore that nagging little bit of humanity that had kept him there in the first place.

Then his eyes landed on the bag the boy was fumbling for and his heart lurched all over again. Food. A whole shitload of food. Cans of tuna and crackers and peanut butter and even something that looked suspiciously like a package of Oreos. It was alright to be selfish if it meant saving this kid’s life at the same time, right?

"Oh my god, oh my god," the boy gasped and finally tugged the bag quickly over his shoulder and straightened up.

It was then Jensen realized exactly why he was freaking out so much. There was a smear of fresh blood along the white tile floor and the boy limped as he hurried forward. Jensen's stomach knotted up but he simply tightened his hold on the boy's arm and tugged him hard back through the store. The dead one was close, Jensen could feel fingers grabbing at his sweatshirt hood, but he wanted to spare a bullet if he could.

"Get outside, see how far the others are." Jensen shoved the boy toward the door and spun, twisting the gun in his hand and driving the butt of the weapon hard into an already broken skull. This one - a woman, once upon a time, maybe even the wife of the man who owned this Mom and Pop store - had obviously had it rough before the end. Jensen pursed his lips together and tried not to inhale the acrid _dead_ stench as he drove the weapon over and over into her head. 

It was better not to use a bullet. It would keep the others away for a while. She was just an animal. She wasn't human. Jensen did what he had to. To survive. 

"Let me see it," Jensen snapped the moment he was outside once more, sucking in a deep breath to keep the churn of bile at bay. It never got any easier but he supposed if it did, he wouldn't be all that human any more.

"W-what?" The boy stuttered out, eyes darting either way down the street then back on Jensen. "See what?"

"Your leg." Jensen didn't have patience for this kind of thing, they didn't have time to wait. "Fucking drop your jeans and let me see."

"Why?" When the brows drew together Jensen felt like reaching out and smacking him. How the hell this kid had made it so long in this new dead world, Jensen really didn't know. "Do you really think this is the time?I'm not bringing you with me if you've been bit. So if you don't wanna keep sitting around here being zombie bait I suggest you drop 'em so we can get a fucking move on." Jensen's fingers were trembling from the lingering adrenaline but he didn't want to let any of that weakness to be obvious in his actions. So he spun the grip and pulled the rag from his pocket, scrubbing the lingering dark sticky blood from the weapon.

It had the desired effect. The boy's eyes grew wide and the way his own hands shook intensified as he fumbled quickly with the fastener on his jeans. Jensen watched - for just a moment, because he couldn't seem to look away - then turned, scanning up and down the streets just in case. The others couldn't be far off, they never were, and they probably shouldn't be doing this here. But if this kid was bit, it was too late for him, and Jensen wasn't going to risk his life dragging around a soon-to-be-dead-head for no reason. 

"I was just trying to get away, without drawing its attention, you know? Ran into the jagged part of the shelf, that's all it is." There was a bright red flush on the boy's cheeks and he kept his head down as he dropped his pants, letting them pool around his ankles.

Jensen believed him, though he probably shouldn't. He should get close and inspect the wound, make sure it was what he said, but it wasn't like the dead ones ate with grace. They'd bite through the denim if it meant getting at flesh and, even if there was a fair bit of blood, it wasn't near the amount it would have been. 

"Alright fine, pull 'em up and let's get out of here." Jensen huffed and stepped forward as the kid yanked his jeans back up, slinging the heavy supply bag up onto his shoulder. "Let's get out of here before the rest show up."

"What's your name?" Finally the kid seemed to stop shaking, or at least he managed to quicken his pace even with the limp and keep up with Jensen. "Who says I'm gonna go with you, anyway?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you have another option?" Jensen kept walking but arched his eyebrow at the boy, slow smirk tugging at his lips. "Because clearly you've got your shit all together."

"Was just a rough morning. I'm Jared, by the way, since you asked and all." When Jared rolled his eyes he stopped mid-motion, a look of surprise crossing his face. Like he'd stopped thinking something so commonplace would happen to him again. 

Jensen understood. It was weird, something as normal as teasing in a world that was anything but. "I'm Jensen. My truck is just up here."

"You can drive?" Jared collided with Jensen's back when he stopped suddenly, turning to Jared with arched brows. "What? You hardly look older than me."

Jensen choked on a laugh that surprised him and continued walking, shaking his head as he hurried toward his truck once more. "Oh, yeah, 'cause cops? They're really cracking down lately. I'm seventeen, Jared. Plus the ten or so years you get by default just surviving in this hellhole."

"That would make me twenty-six. Sweet." Jared scratched along his shoulder and shot Jensen a bright grin, continuing to follow after Jensen in a quick limp. 

It hit Jensen then, how strange this entire thing was. They were in the middle of the street, in the middle of a town that was probably full of zombies that were hurrying as quick as their dead legs could carry them toward the scent of blood trickling down Jared's leg. And here the boy was, grinning and bouncing like they were about to head into fucking Disney World. 

"You know, you're pretty fucking weird." Jensen shook his head and yanked the door of his truck roughly open, tossing his bag quickly inside. "Get in before we become someone's dinner."

"You know, you're pretty fucking morbid," Jared shot back and threw Jensen another of those grins before hurrying around the passenger side, tugging at the door and climbing in. 

-===-

They rode in silence for hours, which surprised Jensen. It seemed a little like Jared was the chatty type, he expected to be hit with a million questions, but then he’d highly underestimated how long Jared must have been struggling on his own. The moment they were free of the town Jensen glanced toward his new passenger and realized the boy was asleep, slumped against the window, completely relaxed like he probably hadn't been for the last two months. 

Jensen considered the idea of keeping Jared around and what that would mean. For two months, eight of the longest weeks of his life, Jensen fought to keep surviving in this world. He slept locked in his truck, parked in any hiding place he could find, clutching the gun between his fingers. And even then it was only for two or three hours at a time, waking with a start and looking around wildly because he always expected them to be there, waiting to devour him.

But with Jared there... maybe sleeping would be easier. They could take turns, Jensen could fully relax for a while; he wouldn't be completely alone anymore.

Around the second hour of their drive to nowhere - because where would they go? What difference would it make? - Jensen realized just how stupid his line of thought was. The kid had just about ended up as zombie bait back at the store, and he'd been foolish enough to get cut. The idea of him being strong enough to keep an eye on Jensen and keep him safe was ridiculous.

Knowing Jensen's luck, Jared didn't even know how to use a weapon, or even kill the dead ones. So Jensen would let the kid sleep, he'd patch him up, and then he'd send him on his way. This world was dangerous and not just because of the zombies. Jensen had learned this firsthand.

It took another two hours and Jensen finally pulling off onto a dirt road for Jared to wake up. The boy looked around quickly, scanning out the windows as Jensen slowly drew to a stop. They weren't really anywhere, but it was secluded which was enough, and being at the top of a hill made keeping an eye on things easier. 

"Where are we?" Jared asked as the engine ticked steadily as it cooled off.. 

Jensen reclined back in the seat and rubbed along the back of his neck. "Nevada. Few hours outside Indian Springs. I don't plan on driving through the city, too big."

"So you're kind of... I mean, you've got your shit together. You know what you're doing." Jared exhaled shakily and swayed forward in his seat, sitting hard back against the door a beat later.

It was only then Jensen realized how badly Jared was shaking, how pale his skin was. He should have realized it earlier but apparently he didn't _always_ know what he was doing. "Come on, get out and come around back."

Jensen shoved the door opened and climbed quickly out, tucking his gun into the back of his jeans and hurrying around to open the tailgate. It wasn't like Jensen knew a whole lot about wounds and medicine and fixing someone up but it wasn't too hard to figure out when someone was not doing so well. And Jared looked just a tiny bit better than the zombies, which wasn't saying much.

"What..." Jared frowned and limped forward, leaning against the truck heavily. "You're not kicking me out are you?"

"No. Drop your pants and get up here." Jensen tugged one of the bags forward, sorting through the medical supplies he'd managed to collect. 

"You really seem to have a thing about getting me outta my pants," Jared muttered but he didn't protest, slipping out of his jeans and climbing slowly up onto the back of the truck.

Jensen huffed a laugh and snagged a bottle of water, offering it out to Jared with a couple pills. "Take these, I'm gonna patch you up."

It was silent for a long few minutes as Jensen worked, using alcohol pads to sweep over the area and inspect the damage. The cut wasn't all that bad which surprised Jensen but he bit back the questions rising up in him as he wrapped an ace bandage around the boy's calf, hoping it might mask some of the blood smell. When he glanced up Jared had his eyes closed and he slowly swayed from side to side.

"How long has it been since you've eaten?" Jensen finally asked, stepping back and balling up the trash, stuffing it in a Ziploc bag. 

"Define eaten," Jared breathed, slowly blinking his eyes open and giving Jensen a small smile. "Had a Twinkie yesterday."

"God. How are you still alive?" Jensen huffed and turned away, shaking his head as his gaze scanned down the hill, checking just in case. It was all clear for now but it wasn't likely to stay that way for long. They needed a place to rest for the night, Jared needed some real food, and somehow the decision to kick Jared to the curb was long gone. "We have to find somewhere to camp for the night. I've got some jerky in my bag you can eat for the protein."

"That mean you'll let me stay?" Despite how exhausted Jared looked, his pale skin and shaky fingers, he pushed off the tailgate and stooped down to tug his pants up. "At least for a little while?"

If his father were still alive, Jensen was pretty sure the man would remind him just how stupid this idea was. Jared would only drag him down, use up his supplies, and put his life at risk. But Jensen had never been as strong as his dad - except that one time and that had taken a lot out of him. 

"Yeah. At least for a little while." Jensen turned to head back to the driver's side. 

-===-

It took another three hours to find a place that seemed moderately safe for the night. The house was in the middle of nowhere - a shack more than anything else - and Jensen hadn't seen any zombies for a solid hour. Still he did a thorough sweep of the shack before helping Jared carry everything inside and insisted they sleep in one of the back bedrooms that had no windows.

"You don't think you're maybe going a little overboard?" Jared asked quietly as Jensen nailed several boards over the door, fiddling with the lantern Jensen had brought in. 

Jensen stopped mid-swing and turned back to Jared, eyebrows arching incredulously. "You do remember almost becoming a tasty treat this afternoon, right?"

"You spend hours coming up with these zombie food metaphors, don't you?" Jared shot back easily and smirked, the action fading as he shifted back and rubbed over his stomach. 

As if on cue the boy's stomach rumbled so loudly Jensen almost flinched. He finished pounding the nail in and turned, dropping the hammer in his bag and stooping down to dig through his supplies. "Here, eat this. We're about as safe for the night as we can get in this world. Maybe we can get some real sleep."

Jared dug greedily into the bag of jerky, stuffing pieces quickly into his mouth and chewing noisily. "God, that'd be fucking amazing. Pretty sure I haven't had a full night's sleep since shit hit the fan."

Jensen nodded because that was the only way to survive in this world. In this room though, he felt safe enough to even let his guard down some. Any zombie trying to get to them would make enough noise Jensen would wake before they could break through the wood. 

He was tired enough he felt like he could crash right then and there but his own stomach grumbled in protest so he crawled toward Jared's supply bag instead. It was strange having someone there with him, like somehow in the last couple of months Jensen had forgotten seventeen years of well-learned social skills.

They ate in silence and Jensen tried not to strain his ears, not to listen for any potential threats. He had to pretend, just for this moment, that they were safe here. Even if they weren't and they never would be. 

"We should get some sleep," Jensen spoke around a mouthful of food, stuffing too much jerky in his mouth because the way his stomach curled together in hunger felt almost painful. Sometimes Jensen could go days without eating, he just had to. But then it hit him, hard, like it always did, and it seemed like there could never be enough food.

Jared eyed him with raised brows, chewing slowly on the jerky. "Where are you from? You know... back before."

The idea of having casual conversation - over jerky, in a room they were boarded into, on a bed they'd be sharing though they'd known each other less than twelve hours - was a little surreal. Jensen swallowed thick and full, biting down on his lip in his haste. "Um, what?"

"Well you had to live somewhere, right? With... a family or whatever? Someone you had before everything happened?" Jared didn't seem to have any qualms about laying it out there, asking Jensen like it couldn't possibly have been a sensitive subject.

Jensen stuffed the remaining jerky into the bag and tossed all the supplies on the floor, standing to tug the blanket back a moment later. He tried not think about how creepy it was, sleeping in some bed that could have belonged to anyone. After all, it wasn't like he could really afford to be picky right now. And Jensen would much rather think about stupid things like this then Jared's question that stung and burned in the worst way. 

"Wow okay, sorry, apparently I shouldn't have gone there," Jared mumbled, hurrying to stand quickly when Jensen yanked the blanket from beneath him. 

There was no way Jensen was letting himself feel guilty for apparently hurting Jared's feelings. They didn't even know each other, and they weren't going to. Jensen wasn't looking for a friend, or a companion, they weren't going to become best friends or lovers or ride off into the sunset together. No, they'd watch each other’s back, keep an eye out where the other couldn't, and that would be that.

"Well, I'm from Texas. I was at a theater camp in San Francisco, you know, when everything happened. But I'm working my way back to Texas now, to find my family. They'll be waiting for me. It's taken _forever_ to get this far but now that you're here with a truck we can-"

"What are you doing?" Jensen snapped, turning to watch as Jared pulled off his socks, laying them on top of his sneakers. The boy hesitated and looked up and Jensen shook his head. "You sleep with your socks and shoes on Jared, god, don't be an idiot."

"What? But, no one's going to get in here. We're safe." Jared looked around the small room, gaze lingering on the nailed in boards. 

Jensen wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or smack Jared hard on the back of the head. Maybe, possibly, both. And very hard. "We are _never_ safe Jared, don't you get that? Fuck, how the hell have you even survived this long? If a zombie is breaking through the wood on the door trying to get at us and we have to run for our fucking lives do you really want to waste time getting dressed?"

"I have survived just fine, thank you very much. And I am not sleeping in my shoes. Pretty sure if I really have to run for my life I'm not gonna mind doing so barefoot." Jared rolled his eyes like this logic was simple and self-explanatory. 

Fuck this, Jensen was going to ditch Jared as soon as feasibly possible. He clearly would not be capable of anything of actual worth. He didn't bother with an answer, choosing to ignore Jared entirely and climb onto one side of the bed, lying on top of the blankets even if he'd just gone through all the effort of tugging them back. It wasn't like comfort was really his top priority, at this point he was just glad not to be scrunched in the cab of his truck.

"So, we can go to Texas, right?" Jared asked after a few minutes of silence - after he'd undressed to just his boxers and t-shirt and slipped under the blankets, settling on the bed like it was no big deal. 

God, this was a really fucking _big_ deal. Jensen didn't understand how Jared didn't get that. Until, of course, the question sank in and the boy's babbling from before hit him. Jensen rolled slowly and tried to stare at Jared in the darkness. He hadn't even realized Jared had turned the lantern off. "You were alone, when everything went to shit, right?"

"Well... not technically alone. I was at the theater camp. All the news reports started up and I was able to get ahold of my parents, before the lines went dead you know? My Mama told me to get to her, to come home. So I packed up my bag and... did. Or started too. Got some rides at first but... it's kind of hard to know who to trust."

There was so much ease behind Jared's words, discussing everything like they were picking out favorite movies and the scenes that made them amazing. The startling realization that Jared, somehow against all odds, had managed to remain innocent and untouched by the now-cold, dark, brutal world was enough to melt all the agitation and annoyance from Jensen's mind. 

Slowly but surely he kicked free of his shoes, shifting along the bed to slide under the blankets and scoot just a little closer. Jared was facing him, lying on his side, and though Jensen couldn't seem him in the pitch dark he could feel the heat of the boy and the steady release of air from his lips.

"Jared..." Jensen whispered and reached out through the darkness until his fingers touched the boy's soft cotton shirt. "You might not like what we find, if we go there."

"My family will be waiting for me," Jared insisted, so sure it brought a surprising prick of tears to Jensen's eyes. "They promised. They'll be waiting, you'll see. And you can stay with us. We'll get through this together."

Jensen curled the soft cotton shirt beneath his fingers and closed his eyes, relieved that Jared couldn't see the pain on his face. "Okay. Okay. We'll go to Texas."

"Good," Jared breathed and moved just a little closer.

-===-

When Jensen woke it was with a start - which wasn't that surprising, since that tended to be his most common method for waking lately. This time though, he wasn't cramped and there was something hot and pressing into his chest along with a puddle of wet that Jensen was pretty sure was drool. Jensen scrunched his face up and tried not to think too much about Jared full-out cuddling him. 

In the distance - probably miles from them, but without a window it was impossible to tell - Jensen could hear the loud shrill of sirens. It was enough to shake any of the pleasant warmth he was maybe soaking in. Sirens weren't all that strange, sometimes people hijacked police cars or something, blared the noise like it would scare off the undead. But Jensen had seen the direct results of those sirens and the absolute last thing it did was send them running. 

"Fuck. Jared. Get up, come on." Jensen shoved at Jared, clambering up to his feet and hurrying to tug his shoes on. 

"Wha?" Jared mumbled sleepily, the mattress squeaking as he sat up. 

Jensen hurried over to the lantern, flicking it on to try and get Jared moving. "Did you hear them? The sirens? That's like the fucking batcall for the undead. We'll be live bait in the middle of a full-on herd if we don't get the hell out of here _now_."

"A herd? You do realize they're not cattle right?" Jared's voice was rough with sleep but he started dressing automatically, stumbling into his jeans. 

"No, they're worse than cattle. Because they will catch our scent and tear through the wood to get to us and we'll be stuck in this fucking room with no windows, just waiting for them to tear us apart." Jensen spoke as he shoved items into their bags, desperate to be back in the truck and on the road. 

It was really the only safe place they could be, no matter what type of illusion they'd created in this room.

The noise across the room had ceased and Jensen's head snapped up, eyes narrowing on Jared. "Did you not catch onto the fucking urgency of this situation?"

"I think maybe you need to get laid." Jared dropped onto the edge of the bed, tugging on his socks and shoes with none of the speed Jensen would have preferred. 

Jensen blinked over at the boy then down at his bag, laughing though he should be freaking the fuck out. He could feel the rise of panic in his chest, he knew just what would happen if they were caught up in the swarm, and still Jared was somehow making him laugh. Yesterday, before they'd met, Jensen was pretty sure any comment like that would have caused his irritation to snap. 

"Would you just pick up the pace a little? Because I will leave you behind as bait if I have to." Jensen straightened up and spun to the door, using the back of the hammer in his bag to pull the nails and boards free. 

By the time the wood was gone Jared was there behind him, gripping both bags and the lantern, watching Jensen with arched brows. "Well? What are you waiting for? The dinner bell?"

Jensen snorted - somehow Jared kept bringing that out in him - and gripped a gun in his palm as he slowly twisted the knob and pushed the door open. Having Jared watching his back, knowing someone was _there_ , made traveling out into the unknown easier than it had ever been. 

And Jensen was oddly okay with that.

-===-

As it turned out, Jared knew how to drive. Jensen had stopped being surprised by the little things involving the boy but this one hit him in a different way. Maybe because Jared had seemed so surprised that Jensen could, or maybe it was just that strange and perfect little innocence Jared had. Like driving could somehow taint that. 

Jensen had seen the way Jared's gaze scanned the horizon though as they'd headed out to the truck. He'd watch Jared's fingers curl around the hilt of a blade as they loaded things in the back and hurried to the cab. But the boy had never needed to raise his weapon and that smile was on his lips as they sped from the cabin and began the slow journey toward Texas. 

The drive was relatively normal, considering the circumstances. Jared sang random songs - Jensen tried not to think about how that was usually his M.O. - in between his never-ending babbling and Jensen tried not to scan the horizon too often. He couldn't help it though and it barely took a few hours for his eyes to start aching with that familiar burn. He knew they'd have to stop soon.

Which is how he learned Jared could drive.

"Wanna switch for a while?" Jared suggested after an unusual stretch of silence.

Jensen pursed his lips and looked over at Jared, his foot lifting slightly from the gas. "Do you even know how?"

"I grew up on a ranch, Jen, I've been driving since I was twelve." Jared laughed, reclining back in the seat with that enviable ease.

And Jensen wanted to trust Jared, wanted to recline in the seat as well, but giving up control like that seemed like an impossibility. His fingers tightened on the wheel and his jaw clenched, the determination crawling up his spine. Somehow Jared had wormed his way into every other part of Jensen already but it was _not_ happening here. 

"Who was it?" Jared asked quietly a few minutes later.

He was sitting up now, turned toward Jensen with furrowed brows and pursed lips. When Jensen didn't answer - just looked away and shrugged - Jared reached out and let his fingers curl steadily over Jensen's shoulder. The squeeze was soft, barely there, but Jensen felt another one of those walls crumbling.

Who the _fuck_ was this Jared guy anyway?

"It's just you and me here now, Jensen. We're all the other has got. The sooner you accept that and open up to me the better it'll be." 

There was something so _cocky_ about Jared's words - though his tone was soothing, likely meant to be reassuring - that Jensen found his foot literally stomping down on the brake. It sent Jared flying forward into the dash and _haa_ the cocky son of a bitch could just deal with that, he deserved it. "Get the fuck over yourself, Jared. Stop acting like I _need_ you here. Stop acting like you're the one going out of your way to save me."

"And you think you're doing the saving?" For the first time ever there was a strong note of anger to Jared's words, enough to have Jensen slowly turning to look his way. The boy's lips twisted together in a scowl as his fingers rubbed over his forehead. "Stop looking at me like you think I'm some goddamn idiot. I mean, fuck Jensen, how do you think I managed to survive these last two months? You think I haven't taken a life? You think I haven't experienced all the _shit_ out there? I don't live in some magic bubble that death and violence and gore hasn't penetrated."

Believe it or not but Jensen somehow found himself intimidated by the fire behind Jared's words, the anger in his gaze. He swallowed thickly and looked away, peering out the window because it seemed safer. Which was saying a lot. It wasn't like he really thought Jared was all that innocent - no matter how idealistic his fantasies had gotten - but he'd never pictured Jared killing one of them. 

How could he still smile and joke around after something like that?

Jared sighed and Jensen could feel his anger deflating, his hand extending to brush a soft touch down Jensen's arm once more. "Look... I get that it's different for everyone. We all process things in our own way. I'm just saying, you're not alone anymore. I'm here now. Give me some credit and let me carry some of the burden."

In that moment Jensen had a hard time believing Jared was truly sixteen years old. He sounded so much older - twenty six, like he'd joked about the day before - and Jensen felt awash with something new. 

Relief. The idea of Jared really carrying some of the burden, easing the pressure, _being there_. Wetting his lips slowly, Jensen turned to Jared and nodded, reaching out to take the boy's hand. 

"Okay. You can drive."

The grin on Jared's face was blinding and Jensen found his own came easier than it had in so very long.

-===-

Over the course of the next couple days Jensen learned more about Jared than he'd ever really needed to know. Like, apparently the boy had an obsession with _Moulin Rouge_ , and his singing was really horrible. And he never ran out of things to say. That was one of those little things that could be annoying if Jensen didn't find himself smiling so often. 

Jensen had calculated on the map - while Jared drove, very well for that matter - that it was a twenty hour drive to Jared's hometown. But they had to avoid all the major towns to avoid any extensive zombie population and it added an extra day at least to their journey. Between stops and not driving at night - just to be safe - it was going to take roughly four days to get to Austin.

And then, they somehow had to figure out how to get through the city to get to the Padalecki residence, but Jensen was trying not to think about it too much.

Currently, his gaze was fixed out on the fields, seeking a place they might be able to camp overnight, and Jared's babble was washing over his shoulders like it had been for hours. Jensen probably wouldn't have even given it much thought, would have just dismissed whatever ramble Jared found himself on, if the words hadn't suddenly hit him like a fist in the gut.

"Well then I kissed Wallace, which was much better than kissing Margie most definitely, and made me realize that I am most definitely gay. Not that I really think that matters now."

"You're gay?" Jensen jerked toward him, eyes widening. It surprised him - not in a bad way - and he wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't realized that before. "Why would that not matter now?"

"Um, yes, I am. I think at least. It's not gonna matter because who would date me now? Will dating even matter, really? I'm going to get zombified and I'll be a virgin forever." Jared sighed dramatically, looking toward Jensen with a smirk like it really was a big joke. 

Jensen still didn't quite get how Jared could do that, joke around about the end of the world so easily. But he found himself smiling in return, then laughing, then trailing off as he realized exactly what this meant. "Me too. I mean, the gay thing. And I guess the virgin thing. Just had a blow job before. I um, I really didn't think you might be..."

"Oh. _Oh._ So maybe... maybe it does matter then." A blush crawled up Jared's cheeks and he ducked his head down, tightening his grip on the wheel.

Things like sex hadn't really mattered all that much to Jensen since the outbreak. Why would he even think about hooking up with Jared when they were running for their life more often than not? Now, of course, it was going to be all he could think about.

"Um. I guess maybe we should look for a place to stay for the night. Unless you want to push further, see how close we can get to the city limits." Jensen knew it was going to be a completely different ballgame once they made it to Austin. They'd have to stash the truck somewhere safe and make the trek on foot. 

And yes, it was better to think about those trivial details then the possibility of more between them. Jensen wasn't sure he could add more to the overload that was his mind since the world ended. There was a part of him desperate for what could be though, because he'd spent two months living on his guard and he couldn't imagine something quite as amazing as real touch.

"Let's find somewhere close, for tonight. Tomorrow we'll reach the city. Tomorrow we'll deal with everything." Jared's tone was a mixture of things: excitement at what was to come, nerves for the day following, and hope. 

It was that hope Jensen was most scared of. Because, he thought, it might not be there that much longer.

-===-

Jensen couldn't imagine a single seventeen year old boy that didn't think about sex, about losing their virginity. Hell, Jensen had been thinking about it for years, but he'd always thought he had plenty of time. There had never been anyone to catch his interest enough to take that step with, and then the outbreak. After that first-time sex went down on the list of important _must experience_ things. Staying alive was the number one.

And yet, somehow, Jensen found himself here in this position, with Jared.

They'd located an abandoned farmhouse a good two hundred miles outside of Austin and gone through the usual process of barricading themselves inside a room. This particular room was on the second floor, window overlooking the porch roof. It would be prime for a quick escape should any of the walking dead make their way upstairs. 

Because of the window though, they kept the lantern off and ate in darkness and silence, sitting close enough on the bed to feel the heat of each other but not touch. Jensen's heart was racing in a way he hadn't felt in a long time, in a way he never thought he would feel again. The adrenaline of running for your life, killing undead to save yourself, was nothing like this.

"Why are you alone?" Jared asked countless minutes later, pulling Jensen from his tumble of thoughts. 

Jensen frowned and peered through the moonlight spilling in from the window, wondering where the question came from. "What?"

"You've kind of, mentioned it before. Something about your dad. And I was wondering... what happened? If you wanted to tell me about it." Jared shifted a little closer along the mattress until their thighs were pressed together. "It might feel good to share."

Pursing his lips, Jensen looked away, tempted to stand and cross the room. He'd just been thinking about sex, losing his virginity, and now Jared wanted to talk about _that_? "It won't. It's not gonna - I don't want to discuss it. Can we just talk about something else? Or not talk at all."

Jared considered him silently for a while, his expression more serious and intense than any Jensen had seen on his face so far. And even if it was dark, Jensen's gaze had adjusted enough he was pretty sure he could read the clear sympathy on the boy's features. Like he’d already guessed the story - and maybe he had, at least the majority of it. Jensen was sure it wasn't all that challenging to figure out.

For some reason the sympathy really got under his skin, though. Jensen didn't want the pity, the comforting understanding. He was Jared's damn savior and did _not_ need to be saved in return. 

In the next moment he was in motion, lurching across the mattress and crushing hard into Jared's chest. Their lips collided in a nearly painful crush, slick and constant, sliding together with enough force Jensen wasn't even all that sure it was good. But then Jared's fingers extended, brushing over his jaw in a smooth caress, and the simple gesture was enough to have Jensen pulling back and meeting the boy's eyes in the darkness.

For a long time they simply stared at each other, things passing that they could never say aloud - or maybe didn't have to - before Jensen was moving again. This time their kiss was everything opposite of the way it was before. Soft and gentle and warm and accompanied with that little spark Jensen had always thought he'd find one day. He wanted that, just like everyone did, but he'd given up any thought that it could be his.

Jensen wasn't sure how they got undressed, he could barely sense anything beyond the way their lips slid together and the heat of their skin as it brushed together. It was perfect in a way Jensen thought nothing could ever be again. Their naked bodies rolled together on the mattress as Jared pushed him back, sliding over the sheets as they swallowed each other’s moans. 

"Touch me," Jared gasped into the kiss, the words barely a whisper exhaled between the part of their lips. "I need it."

When it came down to it, Jensen didn't really need much more persuading than that; he needed it too. Jensen knew the logistics of sex, he'd done his fair share of searching the subject back before, but it had certainly never been something like this before. Watching it happen was nothing compared to _feeling_ it.

Actually, come to think of it, feeling in general was a little more overwhelming than he'd anticipated but there was no way he was turning back now. 

Jared pressed a bottle into his palm - Jensen snorted a laugh, imaging Jared picking it out during one of their grocery shop excursions - and thumbed the cap open. It was begging without saying a word and at this point Jensen didn't think there was anything more to be said. 

The lube was cool and slick coating his fingers and Jensen swallowed thickly as he stretched out, rubbing the tip of his finger slowly over puckered flesh. Jensen knew Jared had said he'd never done this before but he sure acted like he did, rocking eagerly back into the touch, drawing in each of Jensen's fingers with barely silenced eagerness. 

"Come on, come on," Jared chanted, squirming on the bed and tugging at Jensen's hair impatiently. 

Jensen wasn't all that surprised that Jared was chatty and impatient and eager for something he couldn't even be one hundred percent certain he'd like. Of course, judging by the hard length of hot flesh occasionally rubbing up against Jensen's side it wasn't all that unlikely. 

This wasn't about desperation - though Jensen imagined that time would come in the future - instead it was simply affirmation. Somehow they had made it to this point, they had survived through so many odds, and the walls Jensen worked so hard to build around himself had been picked apart.

He'd never felt that more than he did at that moment, sitting back to watch his fingers breach Jared's body, knowing he was only minutes from _claiming_. For the first time in so very long, Jensen let himself forget about the world outside their barricaded farmhouse and lost himself in Jared alone. 

The first breach into tight heated muscle was overwhelming and Jensen nearly lost control, falling over Jared's body and sliding their lips roughly together. It was as much to drown out each other’s moans as it was to connect them in every way possible. Jensen felt nearly lightheaded, thrilled, content in a way he'd given up hope on feeling. 

"Jensen," Jared whispered countless minutes later, after Jensen had sank all the way forward and Jared had taken his time adjusting to the feel of being stretched. 

Jensen pushed up enough to peer down at Jared, swallowing the lump rising in his throat. It wasn't even that long ago, when he wasn't even sure he could tolerate the boy, and now Jensen couldn't imagine a life without him. "I love you."

Surprise covered Jared's face for just a moment and then his smile softened, his body arched up into the touch. "I love you, too."

Maybe it was just their circumstances, how could they even say it was real? But Jensen was pretty sure none of that really mattered, not as long as they lived in this world and had each other to cling to. 

Pleasure curled thick through Jensen as he pulled back and thrust forward, steadily picking up pace, keeping their lips brushing constantly. Jared never stopped moving beneath him, squirming along the mattress and rocking up into each of Jensen’s forward thrusts. 

By the time his orgasm hit Jensen could barely breathe. Every breath he sucked in was full of their scent, musk and sex and nothing close to death and rot. The heat of Jared's own release spread between their bodies and their kiss deepened until Jensen wasn't sure they were two separate people any longer. 

"Please don't ever leave me," Jared whispered as Jensen pulled back, falling to the side and tucking in close. 

Maybe, if the world hadn't ended, he and Jared would never have been friends. They never would have met. But the dead had risen, the living barely managed to keep going, and they could cling to one another.

"Not ever," Jensen breathed and shifted just a little closer.

-===-

"Come on baby, don't fear the reaper," Jensen tried to keep the song a low murmur, his eyes sweeping up and down the road, finger curled over the trigger. His shoulders were tense and every couple of steps he kept glancing at Jared, just to be safe. Losing him now wasn't even an option. "Baby take my hand, don't fear the reaper. We'll be able to fly, don't fear the reaper. Baby I'm your man."

"Okay, seriously?" Jared stopped walking, straightening up to look at Jensen. "Are you attempting irony?"

"I can't help it. Sometimes it just happens." Jensen shrugged, bumping a little too hard into Jared's side. "I was singing that first time. When I saved your life."

"Yeah, I remember." Jared's smile slowly grew and he kept resumed walking forward, tipping his head back to start singing. Loudly. And very badly. "Oh Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law."

At first Jensen's gaze snapped around, knowing just how much attention Jared was drawing to them, but he couldn't help the way his smile grew and he found himself joining in, singing just as loud and just as bad. "Lawman has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home."

Jared looped their arms together and practically started skipping as he led them down the road. "Oh mama, I can hear your crying you're so scared and all alone. Hangman is comin-"

Although Jared kept singing, Jensen cut off on a strangled note, entire body tensing as he took in the incoming wave of undead. They were too loud, Jensen had known better, but Jared always had this way about pulling him in. 

"Shit, come on," Jared snagged his arm and tugged hard, pulling Jensen swiftly down a back alley he wouldn't have even noticed before. 

Jared knew the neighborhood well, which was - at the moment - the only good thing they had going for them. He followed Jared blindly, twisting around to fire at the zombies that staggered a little too close. The surge of adrenaline rushing through Jensen was different than all the other times - though he found it always was, given whatever situation. This time it came with the sharp spike of fear - mostly for Jared's safety. There was no way Jensen would survive if something happened to Jared because he'd been foolish enough to let them get caught up in something like bad singing.

"We have to get back to the truck!" Jensen called out, knowing that running down alleyways and firing off bullets wasn't going to do anything but draw even more undead their way. 

"Wait! It's just up here!" Jared swung wide around another corner and somehow burst into another sprint like they hadn't been running for what already felt like a lifetime. 

It hadn't really been that long. Jensen had run longer. But it felt like it would never end. Apparently there was some end in sight though and Jensen picked up speed, glancing swiftly over his shoulder as they managed to pull away from the oncoming zombies. They burst through the front door of a nice house - or well, Jensen assumed it was nice; he didn't really have time to consider it while spinning to slam the front door shut.

Now they were trapped, locked inside until the undead reached the house and broke the door down. Jensen glanced toward the wide front room windows then over at Jared, panting roughly. "Well this is just fucking great."

"Mom? Dad?" Jared called out, heading instantly through the house. 

Jensen was almost afraid to look. He didn't think they'd find anyone - it wasn't like the zombie Padaleckis would just hang around waiting for their still-living son to come find them. He sank back against the door, sucking in quick breaths and trying to calm the way his heart was racing. 

How would he comfort Jared when he found nothing? Would they just keep searching? Would they drive from town to town never finding answers and fucking on the side? Why would they even bother _trying_?

"Jensen!" Jared yelled from somewhere further inside, startling Jensen from his path of woe. "Jensen! Come see!"

Swallowing the newest burst of panic Jensen headed quickly down the hall, scanning briefly along the walls decorated with family pictures and typical Texan art. He skidded to a halt in the kitchen, watching as Jared dug through a stuffed-full backpack on the kitchen counter. 

"Jared?" Jensen asked quietly, sliding a hesitant step forward. 

"They left a note, my parents. They've taken Megan and Jeff, they say there's a safe camp, in Alabama. They tried to wait but they had to get out of here before it become impossible. And look! They left supplies!" Jared alternated between pulling out food - cans of meat, beans, even fucking peas like they had to remember to eat their vegetables - and waving around the note still grasped in his palm. "Oh! And they left keys too! To the car in the garage, so we don't have to run all the way back to the truck."

It was impossible to describe the swell of emotions suddenly colliding through Jensen. He knew he should feel relieved that Jared's family was alive, should be excited about the extra supplies and the car provided, but there was a little part of him that was steadily growing. Bitter. Jealous. Anger. 

Jensen didn't have time to capitalize on the irrational emotions. 

In the next moment there was a crash at the door and Jensen spun, watching as the wood strained under another hard thump. "We've got to get out of here."

"Okay, okay. Garage is through here. Just, I'll grab the supplies, I've got the map and the note. You wanna drive?" Jared hurried to pile everything in his arms, leaving Jensen to carry the pack they'd brought with them and snag Jared's gun from the countertop. 

He'd drive because it was going to be a bit like bowling for undead. He wouldn't focus on those festering feelings just then, save his own sanity.

-===-

Jensen didn't how long they'd been driving in silence but it felt like days. They'd somehow managed to make it out of the city - front fender smeared with tacky dark blood and pieces of matted flesh - and to the waiting truck. It wasn't all that hard of a decision to ditch the truck - it was old and could break down at any time - and keep the car. It would get them through tighter spots, maybe help them make it safely to Alabama. 

And it was a great thing - imagining a survivor camp, somewhere they could go and feel safe - but Jensen couldn't seem to stop the way his stomach was twisting and churning sickeningly. 

"Alright, you want to tell me about it?" Jared finally asked - forever later, when the town was long gone and the road stretched for miles in front of them. 

Jensen's grip tightened on the wheel and his teeth clenched hard together. Painfully. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Seems like you're pretty pissed. Does it really annoy you so much? Being stuck with me even longer?" Jared's voice grew quiet with the questions and he hurried on before Jensen could answer. "Because you can just go. I won't keep you here. I can make it on my own."

Jensen's foot slammed on the brake, sending Jared flying forward into the dash. He listened to the boy's hissed curse but his heart was racing and his palms were sweating and Jared was so _wrong_. "You really think I'm that big of a douche?"

"Fuck, I don't know! You just look like you wish my parents would have been dead! And god, what the hell am I supposed to think about that?" Jared wiped at his nose, turning slowly to look at Jensen. 

It was kind of a _now or never_ moment. Jensen just needed to lay it all out there and give Jared the rest of him. He'd given everything else, there was no point in holding back now. It was just them after all. Them and the fucking end of the world. "I had to kill my dad."

Jared blinked, inhaling slowly and exhaling, watching Jensen with an unnerving seriousness. "What?"

"When it happened. When all this shit started and things just, everything got so _fucking_ crazy." Jensen turned away from the stare because it was too much and he didn't want Jared to see the tears pricking at his eyes. "My dad made me promise, that I wouldn't let him turn into one of _them_. So I. I said yes, because it seemed like an impossibility, that it would happen to him. But it did. We went out one day, to get supplies, and he just, he got bit. So I had to kill him. I had to shoot him, right in the head, I killed my fucking dad."

Jensen sucked on a shaky sob and in the next moment Jared was there, wrapping his arms around Jensen's shoulders and pulling him in for a tight hug. "Oh Jen, god, that's so- it's horrible. I'm so sorry. So, very sorry. But you spared him. You saved him from that life."

"Why couldn't it have been me? I hate this world, this shit, why are we even bothering? How do we know that when we get to Alabama we won't just find a whole dead mass waiting for us?" Jensen sank into Jared, his voice not nearly as angry and intense as he meant for it to be. 

When Jared didn't get angry and defensive - which Jensen halfway expected though he knew the boy better than that - Jensen nearly collapsed the rest of the way forward. They sat in silence for a long time - too long, Jensen was putting them at risk again - until he nearly nodded off to sleep. 

Finally though, before Jensen could give into his exhaustion, Jared spoke. "We're going to go there and find a home. We'll find my family and they can become yours. I'll tell them how you saved my life so many times and how I'd be so lost without you. But most importantly we'll _be_. And that's all that matters."

It shouldn't be enough, it shouldn't heal any of the wounds deep and present in Jensen, but he found himself smiling softly as he slowly sat back and wiped the tears from under his eyes. The idea of their future - or lack thereof - was terrifying, and still Jensen found himself nodding. "Yeah. Okay. Then let's go."

Jared leaned forward and slid a gentle kiss over Jensen's lips. "You, me, and the fucking zombies."

And the ironic thing? That didn't sound nearly as daunting as it should. "Just you and me."

The End


End file.
